Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize