Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
