we made out on top of his cat.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
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I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
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he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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