you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
