Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
