Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
