that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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