So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
