no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
