I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize