Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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