the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
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WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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