what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
