I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
