btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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