They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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