Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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