It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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