yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
