Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
