The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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