know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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