Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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