Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
