I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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