He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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