Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
