I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
