New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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