it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
