If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
