tell your sister to shave her snatch
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
