There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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