So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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