I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
