he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
