I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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