how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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