i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
