For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
