They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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