I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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