i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
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