so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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