is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
