I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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