White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
