you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
