bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
