I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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