Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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