I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
two words...techno handjob
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
