So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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