Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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