It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
