We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
