if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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