Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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