If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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