yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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