Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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