then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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