Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
