does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
