you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
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I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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